![\"Rudyard](\"https:\/\/www.scoutingresources.org.uk\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/jungle_book_001.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
(The song that Toomai's mother sang to the baby)<\/p>\n
Shiv, who poured the harvest and made the winds to blow,
\nSitting at the doorways of a day of long ago,
\nGave to each his portion, food and toil and fate,
\nFrom the King upon the guddee to the Beggar at the gate.
\nAll things made he \u2013 Shiva the Preserver.
\nMahadeo! Mahadeo! he made all, \u2013
\nThorn for the camel, fodder for the kine,
\nAnd mother\u2019s heart for sleepy head, O little son of mine!<\/p>\n
Wheat he gave to rich folk, millet to the poor,
\nBroken scraps for holy men that beg from door to door;
\nCattle to the tiger, carrion to the kite,
\nAnd rags and bones to wicked wolves without the wall
\nat night.
\nNaught he found too lofty, none he saw too low \u2013
\nParbati beside him watched them come and go;
\nThought to cheat her husband, turning Shiv to jest \u2013
\nStole the little grasshopper and hid it in her breast.
\nSo she tricked him, Shiva the Preserver.
\nMahadeo! Mahadeo! turn and see.
\nTall are the camels, heavy are the kine,
\nBut this was least of little things, O little son of mine!<\/p>\n
When the dole was ended, laughingly she said,
\n\"Master, of a million mouths is not one unfed?\"
\nLaughing, Shiv made answer, \"All have had their part,
\nEven he, the little one, hidden \u2018neath thy heart.\"
\nFrom her breast she plucked it, Parbati the thief,
\nSaw the Least of Little things gnawed a new-grown leaf!
\nSaw and feared and wondered, making prayer to Shiv,
\nWho hath surely given meat to all that live.
\nAll things made he \u2013 Shiva the Preserver.
\nMahadeo! Mahadeo! he made all, \u2013
\nThorn for the camel, fodder for the kine,
\nAnd mother\u2019s heart for sleepy head, O little son of mine!<\/p>\n
You can work it out by Fractions or by simple Rule of Three
\nBut the way of Tweedle-dum is not the way of Tweedle-dee.
\nYou can twist it, you can turn it, you can plait it till you drop,
\nBut the way of Pilly-Winky\u2019s not the way of Winkie-Pop!<\/p>\n
IT HAD been raining heavily for one whole month \u2013 raining on a camp of thirty thousand men, thousands of camels, elephants, horses, bullocks, and mules, all gathered together at a place called Rawal Pindi, to be reviewed by the Viceroy of India. He was receiving a visit from the Amir of Afghanistan \u2013 a wild king of a very wild country; and the Amir had brought with him for a bodyguard eight hundred men and horses who had never seen a camp or a locomotive before in their lives \u2013 savage men and savage horses from somewhere at the back of Central Asia. Every night a mob of these horses would be sure to break their heel-ropes, and stampede up and down the camp through the mud in the dark, or the camels would break loose and run about and fall over the ropes of the tents, and you can imagine how pleasant that was for men trying to go to sleep. My tent lay far away from the camel lines, and I thought it was safe, but one night a man popped his head in and shouted, \"Get out, quick! They\u2019re coming! My tent\u2019s gone!\"
\nI knew who \"they\" were; so I put on my boots and waterproof and scuttled out into the slush. Little Vixen, my fox-terrier, went out through the other side; and then there was a roaring and a grunting and bubbling, and I saw the tent cave in, as the pole snapped, and begin to dance about like a mad ghost. A camel had blundered into it, and wet and angry as I was, I could not help laughing. Then I ran on, because I did not know how many camels might have got loose, and before long I was out of sight of the camp, plowing my way through the mud.
\nAt last I fell over the tail-end of a gun, and by that knew I was somewhere near the Artillery lines where the cannon were stacked at night. As I did not want to plowter about any more in the drizzle and the dark, I put my waterproof over the muzzle of one gun, and made a sort of wigwam with two or three rammers that I found, and lay along the tail of another gun, wondering where Vixen had got to, and where I might be.
\nJust as I was getting ready to sleep, I heard a jingle of harness and a grunt, and a mule passed me shaking his wet ears. He belonged to a screw-gun battery, for I could hear the rattle of the straps and rings and chains and things on his saddle-pad. The screw-guns are tidy little cannon made in two pieces, that are screwed together when the time comes to use them. They are taken up mountains, anywhere that a mule can find a road, and they are very useful for fighting in rocky country.
\nBehind the mule there was a camel, with his big soft feet squelching and slipping in the mud, and his neck bobbing to and fro like a strayed hen\u2019s. Luckily, I knew enough of beast language \u2013 not wild- beast language, but camp-beast language, of course \u2013 from the natives to know what he was saying.
\nHe must have been the one that flopped into my tent, for he called to the mule, \"What shall I do? Where shall I go? I have fought with a white thing that waved, and it took a stick and hit me on the neck.\" (That was my broken tent-pole, and I was very glad to know it.) \"Shall we run on?\"
\n\"Oh, it was you,\" said the mule, \"you and your friends, that have been disturbing the camp? All right. You\u2019ll be beaten for this in the morning; but I may as well give you something on account now.\"
\nI heard the harness jingle as the mule backed and caught the camel two kicks in the ribs that rang like a drum. \"Another time,\" he said, \"you\u2019ll know better than to run through a mule-battery at night, shouting \u2018Thieves and fire!\u2019 Sit down, and keep your silly neck quiet.\"
\nThe camel doubled up camel-fashion, like a two-foot rule, and sat down whimpering. There was a regular beat of hoofs in the darkness, and a big troop-horse cantered up as steadily as though he were on parade, jumped a gun-tail, and landed close to the mule.
\n\"It\u2019s disgraceful,\" he said, blowing out his nostrils. \"Those camels have racketed through our lines again \u2013 the third time this week. How\u2019s a horse to keep his condition if he is n\u2019t allowed to sleep? Who\u2019s here?\"
\n\"I\u2019m the breech-piece mule of number two gun of the First Screw Battery,\" said the mule, \"and the other\u2019s one of your friends. He\u2019s waked me up too. Who are you?\"
\n\"Number Fifteen, E troop, Ninth Lancers \u2013 Dick Cunliffe\u2019s horse. Stand over a little, there.\"
\n\"Oh, beg your pardon,\" said the mule. \"It\u2019s too dark to see much. Are n\u2019t these camels too sickening for anything? I walked out of my lines to get a little peace and quiet here.\"
\n\"My lords,\" said the camel humbly, \"we dreamed bad dreams in the night, and we were very much afraid. I am only a baggage-camel of the 39th Native Infantry, and I am not so brave as you are, my lords.\"
\n\"Then why the pickets did n\u2019t you stay and carry baggage for the 39th Native Infantry, instead of running all round the camp?\" said the mule.
\n\"They were such very bad dreams,\" said the camel. \"I am sorry. Listen! What is that? Shall we run on again?\"
\n\"Sit down,\" said the mule, \"or you\u2019ll snap your long legs between the guns.\" He cocked one ear and listened. \"Bullocks!\" he said; \"gun- bullocks. On my word, you and your friends have waked the camp very thoroughly. It takes a good deal of prodding to put up a gun- bullock.\"
\nI heard a chain dragging along the ground, and a yoke of the great sulky white bullocks that drag the heavy siege-guns when the elephants won\u2019t go any nearer to the firing, came shouldering along together; and almost stepping on the chain was another battery- mule, calling wildly for \"Billy.\"
\n\"That\u2019s one of our recruits,\" said the old mule to the troop-horse. \"He\u2019s calling for me. Here, youngster, stop squealing; the dark never hurt anybody yet.\"
\nThe gun-bullocks lay down together and began chewing the cud, but the young mule huddled close to Billy.
\n\"Things!\" he said; \"fearful and horrible things, Billy! They came into our lines while we were asleep. D\u2019you think they\u2019ll kill us?\"
\n\"I\u2019ve a very great mind to give you a number one kicking,\" said Billy.\" The idea of a fourteen-hand mule with your training disgracing the battery before this gentleman!\"
\n\"Gently, gently!\" said the troop-horse. \"Remember they are always like this to begin with. The first time I ever saw a man (it was in Australia when I was a three-year-old) I ran for half a day, and if I\u2019d seen a camel I should have been running still.\"
\nNearly all our horses for the English cavalry are brought to India from Australia, and are broken in by the troopers themselves.
\n\"True enough,\" said Billy. \"Stop shaking, youngster. The first time they put the full harness with all its chains on my back, I stood on my fore legs and kicked every bit of it off. I had n\u2019t learned the real science of kicking then, but the battery said they had never seen anything like it.\"
\n\"But this was n\u2019t harness or anything that jingled,\" said the young mule. \"You know I don\u2019t mind that now, Billy. It was Things like trees, and they fell up and down the lines and bubbled; and my head-rope broke, and I could n\u2019t find my driver and I could n\u2019t find you, Billy, so I ran off with \u2013 with these gentlemen. \"
\n\"H\u2019m!\" said Billy. \"As soon as I heard the camels were loose I came away on my own account, quietly. When a battery \u2013 a screw-gun mule calls gun-bullock gentlemen, he must be very badly shaken up. Who are you fellows on the ground there?\"
\nThe gun-bullock rolled their cuds, and answered both together: \"The seventh yoke of the first gun of the Big Gun Battery. We were asleep when the camels came, but when we were trampled on we got up and walked away. It is better to lie quiet in the mud than to be disturbed on good bedding. We told your friend here that there was nothing to be afraid of, but he knew so much that he thought otherwise. Wah!\"
\nThey went on chewing.
\n\"That comes of being afraid,\" said Billy. \"You get laughed at by gun- bullocks. I hope you like it, young \u2018un.\"
\nThe young mule\u2019s teeth snapped, and I heard him say something about not being afraid of any beefy old bullock in the world; but the bullock only clicked their horns together and went on chewing.
\n\"Now, don\u2019t be angry after you\u2019ve been afraid. That\u2019s the worst kind of cowardice,\" said the troophorse. \"Anybody can be forgiven for being scared in the night, I think, if they see things they don\u2019t understand. We\u2019ve broken out of our pickets, again and again, four hundred and fifty of us, just because a new recruit got to telling tales of whip-snakes at home in Australia till we were scared to death of the loose ends of our head-ropes.\"
\n\"That\u2019s all very well in camp,\" said Billy; \"I\u2019m not above stampeding myself, for the fun of the thing, when I have n\u2019t been out for a day or two; but what do you do on active service?\"
\n\"Oh, that\u2019s quite another set of new shoes,\" said the troop-horse. \"Dick Cunliffe\u2019s on my back then, and drives his knees into me, and all I have to do is to watch where I am putting my feet, and to keep my hind legs well under me, and be bridle-wise.\"
\n\"What\u2019s bridle-wise?\" said the young mule.
\n\"By the Blue Gums of the Black Blocks,\" snorted the troop-horse, \"do you mean to say that you are n\u2019t taught to be bridle-wise in your business? How can you do anything, unless you can spin round at once when the rein is pressed on your neck? It means life or death to your man, and of course that\u2019s life or death to you. Get round with your hind legs under you the instant you feel the rein on your neck. If you have n\u2019t room to swing round, rear up a little and come round on your hind legs. That\u2019s being bridle-wise.\"
\n\"We are n\u2019t taught that way,\" said Billy the mule stiffly. \"We\u2019re taught to obey the man at our head: step off when he says so, and step in when he says so. I suppose it comes to the same thing. Now, with all this fine fancy business and rearing, which must be very bad for your hocks, what do you do?\"
\n\"That depends,\" said the troop-horse. \"Generally I have to go in among a lot of yelling, hairy men with knives, \u2013 long shiny knives, worse than the farrier\u2019s knives, \u2013 and I have to take care that Dick\u2019s boot is just touching the next man\u2019s boot without crushing it. I can see Dick\u2019s lance to the right of my right eye, and I know I\u2019m safe. I should n\u2019t care to be the man or horse that stood up to Dick and me when we\u2019re in a hurry\"
\n\"Don\u2019t the knives hurt?\" said the young mule.
\n\"Well, I got one cut across the chest once, but that was n\u2019t Dick\u2019s fault \u2013\"
\n\"A lot I should have cared whose fault it was, if it hurt!\" said the young mule.
\n\"You must,\" said the troop-horse. \"If you don\u2019t trust your man, you may as well run away at once. That\u2019s what some of our horses do, and I don\u2019t blame them. As I was saying, it was n\u2019t Dick\u2019s fault. The man was lying on the ground, and I stretched myself not to tread on him, and he slashed up at me. Next time I have to go over a man lying down I shall step on him \u2013 hard.\"
\n\"H\u2019m!\" said Billy; \"it sounds very foolish. Knives are dirty things at any time. The proper thing to do is to climb up a mountain with a well-balanced saddle, hang on by all four feet and your ears too, and creep and crawl and wriggle along, till you come out hundreds of feet above any one else, on a ledge where there\u2019s just room enough for your hoofs. Then you stand still and keep quiet, \u2013 never ask a man to hold your head, young \u2018un, \u2013 keep quiet while the guns are being put together, and then you watch the little poppy shells drop down into the tree-tops ever so far below.\"
\n\"Don\u2019t you ever trip?\" said the troop-horse.
\n\"They say that when a mule trips you can split a hen\u2019s ear,\" said Billy. \"Now and again perhaps a badly packed saddle will upset a mule, but it\u2019s very seldom. I wish I could show you our business. It\u2019s beautiful. Why, it took me three years to find out what the men were driving at. The science of the thing is never to show up against the sky-line, because, if you do, you may get fired at. Remember that, young \u2018un. Always keep hidden as much as possible, even if you have to go a mile out of your way. I lead the battery when it comes to that sort of climbing.\"
\n\"Fired at without the chance of running into the people who are firing!\" said the troop-horse, thinking hard. \"I could n\u2019t stand that. I should want to charge, with Dick.\"
\n\"Oh no, you would n\u2019t; you know that as soon as the guns are in position they\u2019ll do all the charging. That\u2019s scientific and neat; but knives \u2013 pah!\"
\nThe baggage-camel had been bobbing his head to and fro for some time past, anxious to get a word in edgeways. Then I heard him say, as he cleared his throat, nervously:
\n\"I \u2013 I \u2013 I have fought a little, but not in that climbing way or that running way.\"
\n\"No. Now you mention it,\" said Billy, \"you don\u2019t look as though you were made for climbing or running \u2013 much. Well, how was it, old Hay-bales?\"
\n\"The proper way,\" said the camel. \"We all sat down \u2013\"
\n\"Oh, my crupper and breastplate!\" said the troop-horse under his breath. \"Sat down?\"
\n\"We sat down \u2013 a Hundred of us,\" the camel went on, \"in a big square, and the men piled our packs and saddles outside the square, and they fired over our backs, the men did, on all sides of the square.\"
\n\"What sort of men? Any men that came along?\" said the troop- horse. \"They teach us in riding-school to lie down and let our masters fire across us, but Dick Cunliffe is the only man I\u2019d trust to do that. It tickles my girths, and, besides, I can\u2019t see with my head on the ground.\"
\n\"What does it matter who fires across you?\" said the camel. \"There are plenty of men and plenty of other camels close by, and a great many clouds of smoke. I am not frightened then. I sit still and wait.\"
\n\"And yet,\" said Billy, \"you dream bad dreams and upset the camp at night. Well! well! Before I\u2019d lie down, not to speak of sitting down, and let a man fire across me, my heels and his head would have something to say to each other. Did you ever hear anything so awful as that?\"
\nThere was a long silence, and then one of the gun-bullocks lifted up his big head and said, \"This is very foolish indeed. There is only one way of fighting.\"
\n\"Oh, go on,\" said Billy. \"Please don\u2019t mind me. I suppose you fellows fight standing on your tails?\"
\n\"Only one way,\" said the two together. (They must have been twins.) \"This is that way. To put all twenty yoke of us to the big gun as soon as Two Tails trumpets.\" (\"Two Tails\" is camp slang for the elephant.)
\n\"What does Two Tails trumpet for?\" said the young mule.
\n\"To show that he is not going any nearer to the smoke on the other side. Two Tails is a great coward. Then we tug the big gun all together \u2013 Heya \u2013 Hullah! Heeyah! Hullah! We do not climb like cats nor run like calves. We go across the level plain, twenty yoke of us, till we are unyoked again, and we graze while the big guns talk across the plain to some town with mud walls, and pieces of the wall fall out, and the dust goes up as though many cattle were coming home.\"
\n\"Oh! And you choose that time for grazing, do you?\" said the young mule.
\n\"That time or any other. Eating is always good. We eat till we are yoked up again and tug the gun back to where Two Tails is waiting for it. Sometimes there are big guns in the city that peak back, and some of us are killed, and then there is all the more grazing for those that are left. This is Fate \u2013 nothing but Fate. None the less, Two Tails is a great coward. That is the proper way to fight. We are brothers from Hapur. Our father was a sacred bull of Shiva. We have spoken.\"
\n\"Well, I\u2019ve certainly learned something to-night,\" said the troop- horse. \"Do you gentlemen of the screw-gun battery feel inclined to eat when you are being fired at with big guns, and Two Tails is behind you?\"
\n\"About as much as we feel inclined to sit down with knives. I never heard such stuff. A mountain ledge, a well-balanced load, a driver you can trust to let you pick your own way, and I\u2019m your mule; but the other things \u2013 no!\" said Billy, with a stamp of his foot.
\n\"Of course,\" said the troop-horse, \"every one is not made in the same way, and I can quite see that your family, on your father\u2019s side, would fail to understand a great many things.\"
\n\"Never you mind my family on my father\u2019s side,\" said Billy angrily; for every mule hates to be reminded that his father was a donkey. \"My father was a Southern gentleman, and he could pull down and bite and kick into rags every horse he came across. Remember that, you big brown Brumby!\"
\nBrumby means wild horse without any breeding. Imagine the feelings of Sunol if a car-horse called her a \"skate,\" and you can imagine how the Australian horse felt. I saw the white of his eye glitter in the dark.
\n\"See here, you son of an imported Malaga jackass,\" he said between his teeth, \"I\u2019d have you know that I\u2019m related on my mother\u2019s side to Carbine, winner of the Melbourne Cup, and where I come from we are n\u2019t accustomed to being ridden over roughshod by any parrot-mouthed, pig-headed mule in a pop-gun pea-shooter battery. Are you ready?\"
\n\"On your hind legs!\" squealed Billy. They both reared up facing each other, and I was expecting a furious fight, when a gurgly, rumbly voice called out of the darkness to the right \u2013 \"Children, what are you fighting about there? Be quiet.\"
\nBoth beasts dropped down with a snort of disgust, for neither horse nor mule can bear to listen to an elephant\u2019s voice.
\n\"It\u2019s Two Tails!\" said the troop-horse. \"I can\u2019t stand him. A tail at each end is n\u2019t fair!\"
\n\"My feelings exactly,\" said Billy, crowding into the troop-horse for company. \"We\u2019re very alike in some things.\"
\n\"I suppose we\u2019ve inherited them from our mothers,\" said the troop- horse. \"It\u2019s not worth quarreling about. Hi! Two Tails, are you tied up?\"
\n\"Yes,\" said Two Tails, with a laugh all up his trunk. \"I\u2019m picketed for the night. I\u2019ve heard what you fellows have been saying. But don\u2019t be afraid. I\u2019m not coming over.\"
\nThe bullocks and the camel said, half aloud: \"Afraid of Two Tails \u2013 what nonsense!\" And the bullocks went on: \"We are sorry that you heard, but it is true. Two Tails, why are you afraid of the guns when they fire?\"
\n\"Well,\" said Two Tails, rubbing one hind leg against the other, exactly like a little boy saying a piece, \"I don\u2019t quite know whether you\u2019d understand.\"
\n\"We don\u2019t, but we have to pull the guns,\" said the bullocks.
\n\"I know it, and I know you are a good deal braver than you think you are. But it\u2019s different with me. My battery captain called me a Pachydermatous Anachronism the other day.\"
\n\"That\u2019s another way of fighting, I suppose?\" said Billy, who was recovering his spirits.
\n\"You don\u2019t know what that means, of course, but I do. It means betwixt and between, and that is just where I am. I can see inside my head what will happen when a shell bursts; and you bullocks can\u2019t.\"
\n\"I can,\" said the troop-horse. \"At least a little bit. I try not to think about it.\"
\n\"I can see more than you, and I do think about it. I know there\u2019s a great deal of me to take care of, and I know that nobody knows how to cure me when I\u2019m sick. All they can do is to stop my driver\u2019s pay till I get well, and I can\u2019t trust my driver.\"
\n\"Ah!\" said the troop-horse. \"That explains it. I can trust Dick.\"
\n\"You could put a whole regiment of Dicks on my back without making me feel any better. I know just enough to be uncomfortable, and not enough to go on in spite of it.\"
\n\"We do not understand,\" said the bullocks.
\n\"I know you don\u2019t. I\u2019m not talking to you. You don\u2019t know what blood is.\"
\n\"We do,\" said the bullocks. \"It is red stuff that soaks into the ground and smells.\"
\nThe troop-horse gave a kick and a bound and a snort.
\n\"Don\u2019t talk of it,\" he said. \"I can smell it, now, just thinking of it. It makes me want to run \u2013 when I have n\u2019t Dick on my back.\"
\n\"But it is not here,\" said the camel and the bullocks. \"Why are you so stupid?\"
\n\"It\u2019s vile stuff,\" said Billy. \"I don\u2019t want to run, but I don\u2019t want to talk about it.\"
\n\"There you are!\" said Two Tails, waving his tail to explain.
\n\"Surely. Yes, we have been here all night,\" said the bullocks.
\nTwo Tails stamped his foot till the iron ring on it jingled. \"Oh, I\u2019m not talking to you. You can\u2019t see inside your heads.\"
\n\"No. We see out of our four eyes,\" said the bullocks. \"We see straight in front of us.\"
\n\"If I could do that and nothing else you would n\u2019t be needed to pull the big guns at all. If I was like my captain \u2013 he can see things inside his head before the firing begins, and he shakes all over, but he knows too much to run away \u2013 if I was like him I could pull the guns. But if I were as wise as all that I should never be here. I should be a king in the forest, as I used to be, sleeping half the day and bathing when I liked. I have n\u2019t had a good bath for a month.\"
\n\"That\u2019s all very fine,\" said Billy; \"but giving a thing a long name does n\u2019t make it any better\"
\n\"H\u2019sh!\" said the troop-horse. \"I think I understand what Two Tails means.\"
\n\"You\u2019ll understand better in a minute,\" said Two Tails angrily. \"Now, just you explain to me why you don\u2019t like this!\"
\nHe began trumpeting furiously at the top of his trumpet.
\n\"Stop that!\" said Billy and the troop-horse together, and I could hear them stamp and shiver. An elephant\u2019s trumpeting is always nasty, especially on a dark night.
\n\"I sha\u2019n\u2019t stop,\" said Two Tails. \"Won\u2019t you explain that, please? Hhrrmph! Rrrt! Rrrmph! Rrrhha!\" Then He stopped suddenly, and I heard a little whimper in the dark, and knew that Vixen had found me at last. She knew as well as I did that if there is one thing in the world the elephant is more afraid of than another it is a little barking dog; so she stopped to bully Two Tails in his pickets, and yapped round his big feet. Two Tails shuffled and squeaked. \"Go away, little dog!\" He said. \"Don\u2019t snuff at my ankles, or I\u2019ll kick at you. Good little dog \u2013 nice little doggie, then! Go home, you yelping little beast! Oh, why does n\u2019t some one take her away? She\u2019ll bite me in a minute.\"
\n\"Seems to me,\" said Billy to the troop-horse, \"that our friend Two Tails is afraid of most things. Now, if I had a full meal for every dog I\u2019ve kicked across the parade-ground, I should be as fat as Two Tails nearly.\" I whistled, and Vixen ran up to me, muddy all over, and licked my nose, and told me a long tale about hunting for me all through the camp. I never let her know that I understood beast talk, or she would have taken all sorts of liberties. So I buttoned her into the breast of my overcoat, and Two Tails shuffled and stamped and growled to himself.
\n\"Extraordinary! Most extraordinary!\" he said. \"It runs in our family. Now, where has that nasty little beast gone to?\"
\nI heard him feeling about with his trunk.
\n\"We all seem to be affected in various ways,\" He went on, blowing his nose. \"Now, you gentlemen were alarmed, I believe, when I trumpeted.\"
\n\"Not alarmed, exactly,\" said the troop-horse, \"but it made me feel as though I had hornets where my saddle ought to be. Don\u2019t begin again.\"
\n\"I\u2019m frightened of a little dog, and the camel here is frightened by bad dreams in the night.\"
\n\"It is very lucky for us that we have n\u2019t all got to fight in the same, way\" said the troop-horse.
\n\"What I want to know,\" said the young mule, who had been quiet for a long time \u2013 \"what I want to know is, why we have to fight at all.\"
\n\"Because we are told to,\" said the troop-horse, with a snort of contempt.
\n\"Orders,\" said Billy the mule; and his teeth snapped.
\n\"Hukm hai!\" (It is an order) said the camel with a gurgle; and Two Tails and the bullocks repeated, \"Hukm hai!\"
\n\"Yes, but who gives the orders?\" said the recruit-mule.
\n\"The man who walks at your head \u2013 Or sits on your back \u2013 Or holds the nose-rope \u2013 Or twists your tail,\" said Billy and the troop-horse and the camel and the bullocks one after the other.
\n\"But who gives them the orders?\"
\n\"Now you want to know too much, young \u2018un,\" said Billy, \"and that is one way of getting kicked. All you have to do is to obey the man at your head and ask no questions.\"
\n\"He\u2019s quite right,\" said Two Tails. \"I can\u2019t always obey, because I\u2019m betwixt and between; but Billy\u2019s right. Obey the man next to you who gives the order, or you\u2019ll stop all the battery, besides getting a thrashing.\"
\nThe gun-bullocks got up to go. \"Morning is coming,\" they said. \"We will go back to our lines. It is true that we see only out of our eyes, and we are not very clever; but still, we are the only people to-night who have not been afraid. Good-night, you brave people.\"
\nNobody answered, and the troop-horse said, to change the conversation, \"Where\u2019s that little dog? A dog means a man somewhere near.\"
\n\"Here I am,\" yapped Vixen, \"under the gun tail with my man. You big, blundering beast of a camel you, you upset our tent. My man\u2019s very angry.\"
\n\"Phew!\" said the bullocks. \"He must be white?\"
\n\"Of course he is,\" said Vixen. \"Do you suppose I\u2019m looked after by a black bullock-driver?\"
\n\"Huah! Ouach! Ugh!\" said the bullocks. \"Let us get away quickly.\"
\nThey plunged forward in the mud, and managed somehow to run their yoke on the pole of an ammunition-wagon, where it jammed.
\n\"Now you have done it,\" said Billy calmly. \"Don\u2019t struggle. You\u2019re hung up till daylight. What on earth\u2019s the matter?\"
\nThe bullocks went off into the long hissing snorts that Indian cattle give, and pushed and crowded and slued and stamped and slipped and nearly fell down in the mud, grunting savagely.
\n\"You\u2019ll break your necks in a minute,\" said the troop-horse. \"What\u2019s the matter with white men? I live with \u2018em.\"
\n\"They \u2013 eat \u2013 us! Pull!\" said the near bullock: the yoke snapped with a twang, and they lumbered off together.
\nI never knew before what made Indian cattle so afraid of Englishmen. We eat beef \u2013 a thing that no cattle-driver touches \u2013 and of course the cattle do not like it.
\n\"May I be flogged with my own pad-chains! Who\u2019d have thought of two big lumps like those losing their heads?\" said Billy.
\n\"Never mind. I\u2019m going to look at this man. Most of the white men, I know, have things in their pockets,\" said the troop-horse.
\n\"I\u2019ll leave you, then. I can\u2019t say I\u2019m over-fond of \u2018em myself. Besides, white men who have n\u2019t a place to sleep in are more than likely to be thieves, and I\u2019ve a good deal of Government property on my back. Come along, young \u2018un, and we\u2019ll go back to our lines. Good- night, Australia! See you on parade to-morrow, I suppose. Good- night, old Hay-bale! \u2013 try to control your feelings, won\u2019t you? Good- night, Two Tails! If you pass us on the ground to-morrow, don\u2019t trumpet. It spoils our formation.\"
\nBilly the mule stumped off with the swaggering limp of an old campaigner, as the troop-horse\u2019s head came nuzzling into my breast, and I gave him biscuits; while Vixen, who is a most conceited little dog, told him fibs about the scores of horses that she and I kept.
\n\"I\u2019m coming to the parade to-morrow in my dogcart,\" she said. \"Where will you be?\"
\n\"On the left hand of the second squadron. I set the time for all my troop, little lady,\" he said politely. \"Now I must go back to Dick. My tail\u2019s all muddy, and he\u2019ll have two hours\u2019 hard work dressing me for the parade.\"
\nThe big parade of all the thirty thousand men was held that afternoon and Vixen and I had a good place close to the Viceroy and the Amir of Afghanistan, with his high big black hat of astrakhan wool and the great diamond star in the center. The first part of the review was all sunshine, and the regiments went by in wave upon wave of legs all moving together, and guns all in a line, till our eyes grew dizzy. Then the cavalry came up, to the beautiful cavalry canter of \"Bonnie Dundee,\" and Vixen cocked her ear where she sat on the dog-cart. The second squadron of the lancers shot by, and there was the troop-horse, with his tail like spun silk, his head pulled into his breast, one ear forward and one back, setting the time for all his squadron, his legs going as smoothly as waltz-music. Then the big guns came by, and I saw Two Tails and two other elephants harnessed in line to a forty-pounder siege-gun while twenty yoke of oxen walked behind. The seventh pair had a new yoke, and they looked rather stiff and tired. Last came the screw-guns, and Billy the mule carried himself as though he commanded all the troops, and his harness was oiled and polished till it winked. I gave a cheer all by myself for Billy the mule, but he never looked right or left.
\nThe rain began to fall again, and for a while it was too misty to see what the troops were doing. They had made a big half-circle across the plain, and were spreading out into a line. That line grew and grew and grew till it was three-quarters of a mile long from wing to wing \u2013 one solid wall of men, horses, and guns. Then it came on straight toward the Viceroy and the Amir, and as it got nearer the ground began to shake, like the deck of a steamer when the engines are going fast.
\nUnless you have been there you cannot imagine what a frightening effect this steady come-down of troops has on the spectators, even when they know it is only a review. I looked at the Amir. Up till then he had not shown the shadow of a sign of astonishment or anything else; but now his eyes began to get bigger and bigger, and he picked up the reins on his horse\u2019s neck, and looked behind him. For a minute it seemed as though he were going to draw his sword and slash his way out through the English men and women in the carriages at the back. Then the advance stopped dead, the ground stood still, the whole line saluted, and thirty bands began to play all together. That was the end of the review, and the regiments went off to their camps in the rain; and an infantry band struck up with \u2013<\/p>\n
The animals went in two by two,
\nHurrah!
\nThe animals went in two by two,
\nThe elephant and the battery mu-
\nl\u2019, and they all got into the Ark,
\nFor to get out of the rain!<\/p>\n
Then I heard an old, grizzled, long-haired Central Asian chief, who had come down with the Amir, asking questions of a native officer.
\n\"Now,\" said he, \"in what manner was this wonderful thing done?\"
\nAnd the officer answered, \"There was an order and they obeyed.\"
\n\"But are the beasts as wise as the men?\" said the chief.
\n\"They obey, as the men do. Mule, horse, elephant, or bullock, he obeys his driver, and the driver his sergeant, and the sergeant his lieutenants, and the lieutenant his captain, and the captain his major, and the major his colonel, and the colonel his brigadier commanding three regiments, and the brigadier his general, who obeys the Viceroy, who is the servant of the Empress. Thus it is done.\"
\n\"Would it were so in Afghanistan!\" said the chief; \"for there we obey only our own wills.\"
\n\"And for that reason,\" said the native officer, twirling his mustache, \"your Amir whom you do not obey must come here and take orders from our Viceroy.\"<\/p>\n
ELEPHANTS OF THE GUN-TEAM
\nWe lent to Alexander the strength of Hercules,
\nThe wisdom of our foreheads, the cunning of our knees;
\nWe bowed our necks to service; they ne\u2019er were loosed again, \u2013
\nMake way there, way for the ten-foot teams
\nOf the Forty-Pounder train!<\/p>\n
GUN-BULLOCKS
\nThose heroes in their harnesses avoid a cannon-ball,
\nAnd what they know of powder upsets them one and all;
\nThen we come into action and tug the guns again, \u2013
\nMake way there, way for the twenty yoke
\nOf the Forty-Pounder train!<\/p>\n
CAVALRY HORSES
\nBy the brand on my withers, the finest of tunes
\nis played by the Lancers, Hussars, and Dragoons,
\nAnd it\u2019s sweeter than \"Stables\" or \"Water\" to me
\nThe Cavalry Canter of \"Bonnie Dundee\"!<\/p>\n
Then feed us and break us and handle and groom,
\nAnd give us good riders and plenty of room,
\nAnd launch us in column of squadrons and see
\nThe way of the war-horse to \"Bonnie Dundee\"!<\/p>\n
SCREW-GUN MULES
\nAs me and my companions were scrambling up a hill
\nThe path was lost in rolling stones, but we went forward still;
\nFor we can wriggle and climb, my lads, and turn up everywhere,
\nAnd it\u2019s our delight on a mountain height, with a leg or two to spare!<\/p>\n
Good luck to every sergeant, then, that lets us pick our road;
\nBad luck to all the driver-men that cannot pack a load:
\nFor we can wriggle and climb, my lads, and turn up everywhere,
\nAnd it\u2019s our delight on a mountain height with a leg or two to spare!<\/p>\n
COMMISSARIAT CAMELS
\nWe have n\u2019t a camelty tune of our own
\nTo help us trollop along,
\nBut every neck is a hairy trombone
\n(Rtt-ta-ta-ta! is a hairy trombone!)
\nAnd this is our marching song:
\nCan\u2019t! Don\u2019t! Sha\u2019n\u2019t! Won\u2019t!
\nPass it along the line!
\nSomebody\u2019s pack has slid from his back,
\nWish it were only mine!
\nSomebody\u2019s load has tipped off in the road \u2013
\nCheer for a halt and a row!
\nUrrr! Yarrh! Grr! Arrh!
\nSomebody\u2019s catching it now!<\/p>\n
ALL THE BEASTS TOGETHER
\nChildren of the Camp are we,
\nServing each in his degree;
\nChildren of the yoke and goad,
\nPack and harness, pad and load.
\nSee our line across the plain,
\nLike a heel-rope bent again.
\nReaching, writhing, rolling far,
\nSweeping all away to war!
\nWhile the men that walk beside
\nDusty, silent, heavy-eyed,
\nCannot tell why we or they
\nMarch and suffer day by day.<\/p>\n
Children of the camp are we,
\nServing each in his degree;
\nChildren of the yoke and goad,
\nPack and harness, pad and load.<\/p>\n
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